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BREAKING NEWS VIA TWITTER

Urban_Poet — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 03:58:17 +0000

Corp’s out.

Using Twitter is like competing in the Special Olympics… No matter what you do you’re still retarded. Follow my tweets at www.twitter.com/fitthebill

An oldie but goodie. TOP TEN REASONS YOU CAN TELL COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON IS ABOUT TO START

Urban_Poet — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 03:48:02 +0000

10. The Urban Poet begins a rigorous pre-season fitness regimen.
9. OU cheerleaders scramble to memorize the words to Boomer Sooner. They fail, and go back to practicing fellatio. They succeed.
8. Nerds across the country prepare for twelve weeks out of the shadows as they don Michael Jackson-esque (RIP) pseudo-military uniforms to march in the band.
7. A Florida State Freshman opens the official FSU refrigerator, removes the silence of the lambs-esque skin suit of Bobby Bowden, and holds a press conference. Put the lotion in the bucket Bobby!
6. Joe Paterno starts sundowning–and preparing to win the Big Ten.. again.
5. BYU embraces its African-American population (may also be an indicator of the start of college basketball, or track, or baseball, or hockey). For that matter, so does Notre Dame, Boston College, and Grambling.
4. Hundreds of Thousands of Michigan fans eagerly anticipate another 6-6 season with wins over Minnesota and Wayne State! They fail, and go back to practicing fellatio. They succeed.
3. Rick Neuheisel renews his membership to www.sportsbook.com.
2. God forgets about Notre Dame.
1. The Coliseum begins to smell of brei, white whine spritzers, superciliousness… and victory.

Stat of the week, courtesy of Ivan Maisel

CommishPhil — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 03:58:42 +0000

From Mr. Maisel:

UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel has measured up to USC coach Pete Carroll. The Trojans’ 14 losses over the course of Carroll’s seven-plus seasons have been by a total of 59 points. The Bruins needed only one 59-point loss for Neuheisel to tie Carroll.

He should be catching up on total losses here pretty soon as well.

Best stadium songs

gpen — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 04:28:57 +0000

There’s apparently not much to talk about these days in college football, as random lists have proliferated—worst uniforms, best uniforms, etc. Adding to the list (of lists), The Best of College Football Blog has a list of the top 10 stadium songs. What is a stadium song, you ask? Well, according to the introduction stadium songs are

the best and most exciting songs played during college football games. These are not fight songs. The songs on this list can either be played by the band or over the stadium loudspeaker.

This seems like a pretty broad category (next up: best songs played on fans’ iPods during the drive to the game), and we only agree with a few of the selections, but at any rate here’s the list.

Livin’ on a Prayer – Bon Jovi
Eye of the Tiger – Survivor
Kernkraft 400 – Zombie Nation
Rock and Roll, Part 2 – Gary Glitter
Crazy Train – Ozzy Osbourne
Hang on Sloopy – The McCoys
Jump Around – House of Pain
Hey Baby – Various Artists
Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd
Iron Man – Black Sabbath

Is Carroll’s NFL interest serious this time?

gpen — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 18:37:33 +0000

Bill Plaschke seems to think so, and he says that Carroll is showing more interest in The League this time around than ever before. He also says that, should the Trojans win their final two games, Carroll would have completed the greatest five-year stretch in college football history. The time would be ripe for him to jump ship to the NFL.

But despite all this talk, we get the feeling that the only thing on Pete Carroll’s mind right now is UCLA. (At least, we hope.)

Pete Carroll’s run ranks among the best of all time

CommishPhil — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 04:33:59 +0000

So says Ivan Maisel, comparing today’s USC program to the best stretches ever by coaches like Bear Bryant, Bobby Bowden and Darrell Royal. I’m sure things would go just as well for Carroll if he jumped ship to the Arizona Cardinals.

Fire Lane Kiffin?

CommishRob — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 21:46:00 +0000

I have been watching USC through the first 6 and half games of 2006 and it seems that Lane Kiffin has no idea what successful offensive football is all about.

Experts Still have Faith in SC

CommishRob — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 01:16:34 +0000

Apparently Mark May’s not the only one who still thinks USC is a national title contender.