An oldie but goodie. TOP TEN REASONS YOU CAN TELL COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON IS ABOUT TO START

10. The Urban Poet begins a rigorous pre-season fitness regimen.
9. OU cheerleaders scramble to memorize the words to Boomer Sooner. They fail, and go back to practicing fellatio. They succeed.
8. Nerds across the country prepare for twelve weeks out of the shadows as they don Michael Jackson-esque (RIP) pseudo-military uniforms to march in the band.
7. A Florida State Freshman opens the official FSU refrigerator, removes the silence of the lambs-esque skin suit of Bobby Bowden, and holds a press conference. Put the lotion in the bucket Bobby!
6. Joe Paterno starts sundowning–and preparing to win the Big Ten.. again.
5. BYU embraces its African-American population (may also be an indicator of the start of college basketball, or track, or baseball, or hockey). For that matter, so does Notre Dame, Boston College, and Grambling.
4. Hundreds of Thousands of Michigan fans eagerly anticipate another 6-6 season with wins over Minnesota and Wayne State! They fail, and go back to practicing fellatio. They succeed.
3. Rick Neuheisel renews his membership to www.sportsbook.com.
2. God forgets about Notre Dame.
1. The Coliseum begins to smell of brei, white whine spritzers, superciliousness… and victory.

Posted by Urban_Poet
Filed in Uncategorized
1 Comment »

One Response to “An oldie but goodie. TOP TEN REASONS YOU CAN TELL COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON IS ABOUT TO START”

  1. The Urban Poet » Blog Archive » Top Ten Reasons You Now It’s College Football Season Says:
    August 13th, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    [...] 10. The Urban Poet begins a rigorous pre-season fitness regimen. 9. OU cheerleaders scramble to memorize the words to Boomer Sooner. They fail, and go back to practicing fellatio. They succeed. 8. Nerds across the country prepare for twelve weeks out of the shadows as they don Michael Jackson-esque (RIP) pseudo-military uniforms to march in the band. 7. A Florida State Freshman opens the official FSU refrigerator, removes the silence of the lambs-esque skin suit of Bobby Bowden, and holds a press conference. Put the lotion in the bucket Bobby! 6. Joe Paterno starts sundowning–and preparing to win the Big Ten.. again. 5. BYU embraces its African-American population (may also be an indicator of the start of college basketball, or track, or baseball, or hockey). For that matter, so does Notre Dame, Boston College, and Grambling. 4. Hundreds of Thousands of Michigan fans eagerly anticipate another 6-6 season with wins over Minnesota and Wayne State! They fail, and go back to practicing fellatio. They succeed. 3. Rick Neuheisel renews his membership to http://www.sportsbook.com. 2. God forgets about Notre Dame. 1. The Coliseum begins to smell of brei, white whine spritzers, superciliousness… and victory. Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments » Leave a Comment [...]

Leave a Reply