Let me tell you what college fantasy football has done for me. The Urban Poet is not necessarily a major college football fan. Like any good Trojan, he loves SC, hates UCLA, and talks trash about Notre Dame. Like any wise Trojan, he secretly hopes his future children will prefer UCLA, as the Urban Poet does want to retire someday.

Enter college fantasy football. Now, this Saturday, not only will the Urban Poet be rooting for the Trojans, but he will also be cheering on the passing game of Bowling Green. Who? Bowling Green. The “Falcons” are apparently from Ohio of all places—and they’ve been there since 1910! If the Urban Poet’s future kid ever wants to go to a school in Ohio, he prays to god it is to do some vandalism at Ohio St. But not only do the hopes of notable alums Tim Conway, Robert Patrick (“have you seen this boy?”), Eva Marie Saint, and at least three dozen other ruddy faced Midwesterners lie with the fate of the Falcons against the Ohio whatevers, but so does the Urban Poet’s passing offense.

So while you fantasy football participants prepare to root for Toledo, Texas Tech, Navy, Hawaii and the like, we sing together:

Forward Falcons, Forward Falcons,
Fight for victory.
Show our spirit, make them fear it,
Fight for dear Bee Gee.
Forward Falcons, Forward Falcons,
Make the contest keen.
Hold up the fame
Of our mighty name,
And win for
Bowling Green.